Couple say open communication eased Lana’s panic attacks and improved their sex life

Lana, 22, and her partner Jake, 23, say that talking openly about sex helped ease Lana’s anxiety and transformed their sexual relationship after more than four years together.

Lana says she lost her virginity at 17 to Jake, then 18, and had felt pressure to have sex, viewing it as “social currency.” She says comparisons with other women, the influence of porn and worries about her beauty left her analysing herself and occasionally spiralling into panic attacks. The couple had largely stuck to basic positions and, until about a year ago, had never had a proper conversation about sex, she says.

Jake says he had earlier sexual partners but little communication, and that learning to be open with Lana made a difference. After Lana described a severe panic attack, he suggested they be honest with each other and gave her extra attention and reassurance. He says they now ask each other during sex if something feels good and have broadened their idea of intimacy to include cuddling and small touches, which has led to more foreplay and connection.

Lana says Jake has helped with meditation and breathing techniques and taught her that intimacy can be non-sexual, which she credits with reducing pressure: “the sex has been so good, and we’ve never looked back.” The pair say they continue to work on vulnerability and sometimes still feel embarrassed, but are trying to overcome those fears together.

Key Topics

Culture, Lana, Jake, Panic Attacks, Porn, Kama Sutra