Experts suggest practical, unconventional ways to rekindle sexual desire

Sex therapists and educators are offering a range of unconventional strategies to help people cultivate sexual desire, saying that beyond basic health steps there are practical ways to create the conditions for libido to emerge. Reporters and experts note that evidence-based first steps include getting enough sleep, managing stress and addressing relationship or medical issues.

Beyond that, specialists recommend a “turnoff” audit to identify specific things that lower arousal, and counsel that scheduling intimacy can work better when framed as “scheduling a container for physical intimacy” — time for nonsexual touch that can spark responsive desire. Other suggestions include deliberately taking a more compassionate view of a partner to quiet negativity bias; introducing novelty by switching roles, timing or routines; and trying new, tactile activities together so both partners share vulnerability.

Experts cited in the piece include sex educators and therapists such as Emily Morse, David F. Khalili, Rachel Wright, Justin Garcia, Justin Pere, Joan Price and Kate Balestrieri. Several specialists warned against pressuring desire to appear on demand, urging embodiment and noticing bodily sensations instead.

Key Topics

Health, Libido, Sex Therapy, Emily Morse, David F. Khalili, Responsive Desire