His cancer diagnosis hit the reset button — we’ve built a collection of toys

Will, 57, was diagnosed with prostate cancer and faced a choice of treatments including hormone therapy, chemotherapy and radiotherapy. He decided on a prostatectomy to eradicate the cancer, despite the risk of nerve damage that could cause erectile dysfunction.

In the lead-up to the operation and during recovery he worried that intimacy would change and that it might affect his sense of identity and their marriage; unexpectedly, the surgery transformed their sex life. Will and Lucy have been together for 30 years, and his higher libido had usually meant he initiated sex, which had become a source of mild tension.

The prospect of erectile dysfunction pushed them to speak more plainly about how they would cope and what sex meant for their relationship, and that openness gave them a fresh start. A few months after the operation Lucy initiated intimacy, and after proceeding with caution they had some of the best sex of their marriage; the nerve damage proved manageable and, as long as he takes Viagra, he is more than fine.

prostate cancer, prostatectomy, erectile dysfunction, viagra, hormone therapy, chemotherapy, radiotherapy, intimacy, libido, nerve damage