Karen Palmer on fleeing an abusive husband and rebuilding her life

In the summer of 1989 Karen Palmer bought a used car, packed a few belongings and, with her new husband and their two young daughters, left Los Angeles without telling friends, family or employers. They drove east and settled in Boulder, Colorado, choosing a place Palmer believed her ex-husband, Gil, would not think to look.

They had no ID or references, changed their names and faked documents to find work, a home and a school for the girls — a process Palmer calls 'do-it-yourself witness protection'. Gil never found them. Palmer stayed in touch by phone so loved ones knew they were safe, but she withheld their location to prevent Gil learning where they were.

Palmer describes years of coercive control and escalating threats from Gil during and after their 14-year marriage, including moments when he pointed a loaded gun at her pregnant belly, locked her in a cupboard and, after divorce proceedings began, stalked and threatened the family.

The crisis that precipitated their flight was Gil’s abduction of their three-year-old daughter Amy, whom he later returned after a 10-day ordeal in which a warrant was issued and Palmer was awarded emergency custody. 'I did the right thing — and I’d do it again,' she says. Gil died in 2008; Palmer only learned of his death years later.

Key Topics

Culture, Karen Palmer, Boulder, Los Angeles, Domestic Abuse, She's Under Here