Mother says she raised her children with honesty, not fear

Businessinsider: The author says she raised her children differently from how she was raised, prioritizing open conversations over fear and punishment.

She writes that she was brought up by grandparents who kept emotional distance, discouraged discussion of topics like sex or drugs and used frightening warnings such as "Do not do drugs or you'll die" and "Do not have sex or you'll get pregnant." That upbringing left her terrified of the adults in her life and without a trusted grown-up to call when she made mistakes.

With her own children she kept lines of communication open, talked about drugs, sex, and drinking, and tried to listen without judgment while keeping safety as the first priority—telling her high-school daughter, "Call me," "and I'll come get you." A social worker later noted the family's "tight and open relationship," even as neighbors labeled her "loosey goosey" when her teens struggled with drinking, drug use, sex or when her son dropped out of school; she says she has no regrets and would parent the same way again.

Key Topics

Culture, Parenting, Grandparents, Open Communication, Teenagers, Drug Use