Mother says moving to Los Angeles cost her daily connection with her dad

Businessinsider published an as-told-to essay by Ruth Davis, a 39-year-old Creative Director who says moving with her 12-year-old daughter and fiancé to Los Angeles in 2019 — two hours from the tight-knit village where she grew up — left her unexpectedly bereft of her father.

Davis says her father had been everything to her: after her parents split he had full custody, and he moved in to help when her daughter was born, offering both practical help and emotional support. After the move they saw each other only about once a month when he took the train; in August 2025, grieving two family losses and overwhelmed, she called him crying and he replied, "Everything is going to be OK," then bought a train ticket to visit the next day, which brought her comfort but also self-doubt.

She says she does not regret the opportunities the move offered her nuclear family, but that knowing how much she values daily proximity to her father would have changed her decision. Davis adds she would not advise her daughter to move away from her village and feels she may have done her child a disservice by relocating away from their tight-knit community.

Key Topics

Culture, Ruth Davis, Los Angeles, Parenting, Family Support, Nuclear Family