Nikki Glaser opens Golden Globes with 11-minute monologue aimed at Hollywood men

Nikki Glaser opened the 83rd Golden Globes on Sunday at the Beverly Hilton Hotel with an 11-minute opening monologue, hosting the awards ceremony for the second year in a row while wearing a scarlet gown. Her routine landed mostly on men in the room, targeting their talent, looks and personalities.

She thanked the “Pitt” and “E.R.” actor Noah Wyle for being “the only doctor I’ve seen regularly for the past last 35 years,” told Guillermo del Toro and James Cameron to “keep making weird monster sex movies,” and quipped that Steve Martin and Martin Short proved “you are never, ever too old to still need money.” Glaser also singled out named nominees and stars: she asked George Clooney to troubleshoot her Nespresso, likened Kevin Hart and Dwayne Johnson to “Steve Martin and Martin Short, but for ‘people under 50 I.Q.,’” teased Leonardo DiCaprio about having accomplished much “before your girlfriend turned 30,” and joked that Sean Penn might “slowly morph into a sexy leather handbag” before adding a line about Penn’s humanitarian work and cocaine, saying he had permission to tell that joke from “your two best friends, Charlie Sheen and El Chapo.” She mocked Michael B.

Jordan’s dual roles as “two Michael B. Jordans,” apologized to his mother for a follow-up quip, and said Timothée Chalamet “gained over 60 ounces” to put on muscle for a Ping-Pong movie — a role the article notes would later win Chalamet his first Golden Globe.

Key Topics

Culture, Nikki Glaser, Golden Globes, Beverly Hilton Hotel, George Clooney, Leonardo Dicaprio