‘Black tie optional’ and other wedding dress codes often leave guests confused

Wedding dress codes such as “black tie optional” are meant to signal formality without pressure, but they frequently create confusion for guests, according to etiquette experts and wedding professionals. Etiquette maven Lizzie Post said she has “mixed feelings” about the term: “I get sad sometimes over the ‘optional,’ because I think it causes more people to dress down,” she said.

“But I also think it’s wonderfully useful,” she added, noting that the designation can ease the burden for guests who cannot rent or borrow a tuxedo. A dark suit, she said, is the usual step down the formality ladder. Wedding stylist Gabrielle Hurwitz said “liberties have been taken” with dress-code strictures, and that black-tie optional can lead to outcomes such as jersey knits instead of silk.

She noted that some couples hold black-tie events outdoors in the afternoon and that the phrase can be used as a compromise so hosts “don’t want to be seen as difficult or demanding.” Mara Urshel of Kleinfeld Bridal said the wording “does cause confusion,” and San Le, a wedding content creator, described guests who asked whether her 2023 black-tie requirements were truly mandatory despite clear instructions on her wedding website.

Couples continue to try to steer guest attire with mood boards and creative codes: Canva reported searches for “wedding moodboard” were up 47 percent in 2025, and Pinterest said searches for “mood board wedding inspiration” were 230 percent higher in 2025 than in 2024.

Key Topics

Culture, Wedding Dress Codes, Black Tie Optional, Lizzie Post, Emily Post Institute, Kleinfeld Bridal