We let a friend move in to help her — four years later she still lives with us
A reader says that in spring 2022 she and her husband sold their house and, with help from her parents, bought a bigger home. A friend who was going through a tough time moved in with them and their two children. There was no written agreement; the plan was that the friend would either retrain or save for her own place and move out in six months to a year.
She pays £350 a month towards energy bills, except for a three-month period when she wasn’t working, and the reader also gave her money for a course, but four years on the friend hasn’t retrained, found a new job or saved to move out and now lacks the money to leave.
The reader says she feels trapped and resents the situation while also feeling guilty about her own privilege. The friendship has shifted into what feels like a parent–child dynamic, and she finds it hard to talk to the lodger because she expects tears and fears being a coward for avoiding the confrontation.
United Kingdom