He Was 20, She Was 40: A Nearly 40‑Year Relationship

In a Modern Love essay, David Woo writes that he first met Margalit at the Tufts University library in Boston when he was 20 and she was 40; the couple says they will soon have been together for 40 years. Their chance meeting began over a book on Armenian architecture as Mr. Woo prepared for a bicycle trip from Istanbul to Jerusalem.

Margalit was then married with two children and studying art history. Their romantic timeline was slow: after his trip and a year of study in Paris, seven years passed before her divorce and his certainty that she was the one; he moved to London to be closer, she did not move in until her youngest daughter was a teenager, and it was another decade before they married.

Mr. Woo recounts social resistance: his family worried in conservative Taiwanese society and he became a kind of black sheep; college friends found the relationship strange; strangers sometimes assumed he was her adopted son or asked if he was a gigolo. He says Emmanuel Macron’s election helped ease his family’s acceptance.

After marrying, he became a stepfather and later a step-grandfather, built a career as an economist and retired just after turning 50. Now, he writes, the age gap is beginning to affect their daily life: Margalit’s mind remains young but her body is more tired and less energetic.

Key Topics

Culture, David Woo, Margalit, Tufts University, Boston, Istanbul