Linux 'scx_horoscope' scheduler sets CPU priorities by planets and zodiac signs

A GitHub project called scx_horoscope is a fully functional Linux CPU scheduler that, according to PC Gamer, decides processor priorities "based on real-time planetary positions, zodiac signs, and astrological principles" and loads into the Linux kernel. The project maps celestial bodies to process types: the Sun is tied to critical system processes (PID 1, init), the Moon to interactive tasks (shells, editors, terminals), Mercury to network and I/O tasks, Venus to desktop and UI processes, Mars to CPU‑intensive work (compilers, video encoding), Jupiter to memory‑heavy applications (databases, browsers), and Saturn to system daemons and kernel threads.

Zodiac sign elements alter those priorities, too: the scheduler gives a 1.5x boost when a fire sign (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) is in play and drops multipliers to 0.6x for water signs, while a planet in retrograde imposes a 50% time‑slice penalty on tasks under its domain, according to the write‑up.

The project's author, Zampierilucas, is quoted asking, "If the universe can influence our lives, why not our CPU scheduling too?" PC Gamer's writer notes the creativity on display but calls the approach "extremely dubious" and warns that using it for anything other than japery is likely a bad idea.

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