Should my husband stop expecting me to attend all his family gatherings?

Chloe says her husband Edwin expects her to attend all his family gatherings, and the difference in their upbringings is causing recurring arguments. She cites missing his goddaughter’s seventh birthday because she had prior plans and taking a break at a noisy Christmas as flashpoints; they have been together four and a half years.

Chloe describes growing up with one sibling who died when she was nine and losing her mother a couple of years ago, and says she is very independent and likes her own space. She told Edwin she had made plans for her best friend’s birthday “ages ago,” and says he asked, “But what will people think?” and called her thoughtless; she says being “wheeled out” to his family feels like a formality and that she does not even know his goddaughter well.

Edwin, who comes from a big Colombian family, says family has always been central and that he wants Chloe to feel included and to show his relatives they are a unit. He notes he has five brothers and sisters and around 20 nieces and nephews, and says when Chloe does not attend he feels “silly” and “exposed,” had to fend off questions after the goddaughter’s party, and felt embarrassed when she disappeared at Christmas.

He also says he worries they may parent differently in future. The Guardian readers’ jury largely sided with Chloe. Jessica, 21 wrote: “Just as Edwin has his family, Chloe has her friends and her obligations to them. And we all have the right to rest, regardless of circumstance.

chloe, edwin, colombian family, family gatherings expectations, goddaughter's seventh birthday, best friend's birthday, christmas family gathering, social battery, need for space, independent upbringing, sibling died young, mother died recently, five brothers and sisters, around 20 nieces and nephews, wheeled out to his family, feeling embarrassed at events, showing we're a unit, parenting differences worries, right to rest, readers' jury, four and a half years