Should I seek closure from a high school friend who drifted away?
A piece from Theguardian includes advice from Eleanor to a reader whose close high-school friend drifted away and who asks whether to seek closure. Eleanor notes that many people’s first experience of deep love is with a high-school friend and that those relationships are formative; drifting apart after school is common and not knowing why can gnaw.
She distinguishes between wanting an explanation and wanting closure, warning that reaching out might reveal a reason but might also show there is no satisfying answer beyond the drift, and that the other person may not see the relationship as a story that needs finishing.
She suggests closure need not come from the friend: you can write a letter you never send, settle on a way of narrating the friendship to yourself, or take time to appreciate the high-school relationship separately from what it is now.