Should my best friend stop wearing the same perfume?

Marta says individuality matters to her and she likes to keep her style and scent unique. After she bought a perfume, Elsa complimented it, asked what it was and said she would buy it too; Marta felt annoyed. She argues a personal scent is intimate — “when someone hugs me and says, ‘I like how you smell,’ that means something” — and that Elsa buying the same fragrance feels like an erosion of her identity and a bit lazy.

The perfume came from a small French-owned website, and Marta felt dismissed when her boyfriend Ben sided with Elsa. Elsa rejects the idea that she is copying Marta’s whole identity. She says perfume is a product sold to the public and cannot be made off-limits; Marta has been defensive before, once getting annoyed when Elsa bought a top Marta also owns.

Elsa felt hurt when Marta told her not to buy the scent, and points out that perfume settles differently on each person — after 14 years of friendship, overlapping tastes are not unusual. For Elsa, perfume is meant to be enjoyed, not guarded. Readers weighed in.

France

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