When good things happen, I write them down — it made me more optimistic

Growing up, I was envious of optimists. I was hypersensitive to the ease with which they sailed through exams, social gatherings or teenage milestones with a sunny conviction that things would more or less work out. I was a chronic worrier, the eldest daughter in a turbulent household where my father’s moods could plummet and I walked on a knife‑edge; every morning I would force myself to accept it was going to be a bad day as an act of self‑preservation.

The pattern continued into adulthood. Before a date, a job interview or a presentation I’d tell myself it wasn’t going to go well, and if the opposite happened I’d call it a one‑off fluke. In therapy I learned I was prone to catastrophising; exercise, journalling and meditation helped over the years, but the worry flared up at times of stress.

Early last year everything changed when I found a £20 note crumpled in the gutter. I pocketed it and wrote it down in my notes app so I wouldn’t forget how fortuitous it felt.

optimism, worry, journalling, therapy, catastrophising, meditation, exercise, notes app, found money, 20 pound